Programmes

last season and this season

City up, Spireites down

Every issue of Red Passion, with the exception of the first, has carried a programme review item as a regular feature in the 'At the Back' section. Now that we've had a complete season's worth of away programmes to scrutinise there's an opportunity to try mindlessly to rank them in some sort of order, as we sad footie fans are wont to do - and as you'd expect, we didn't duck the challenge. We at RP have found that we have a real talent for the completely subjective assessment, and have therefore deemed hard fact and quantitative thought to be absolutely dispensable. It would, you may think, be nice for a panel of judges to sit in contemplation of the individual programme's merits, rather like Junior Masterchef (but without the annoying accent) - but no. Our opinion rests on something less strenuous - let's call it 'feel', for want of a better term (like idleness). It's as good as you're going to get, and to try to make it less tedious than it already is, not every club's programme is shown, just the promotion and relegation issues. The first one does, by the way, hurt us as much as it hurts you.

Champions: Manchester City
Runners-up: Millwall
Play-off winners: Northampton (see how unreal this is?)    
Wembley losers: Notts County
Play-off semi-losers: Reading and Fulham   
Just missed out: Bristol Rovers, Gillingham and Preston
Relegated: Walsall, Luton and Chesterfield (at least we got that one right)
Just escaped: Oldham, Macclesfield, Stoke and York

If you don't agree with us, we wouldn't be surprised at all, and if this list provokes strong feelings of anguish in you, why don't you sit down and write out your own? Or seek help? You'll need to be as calm as you can be before next season starts, with all the round of away matches again (less a few, and plus a couple of old 'friends'), because the nerves will be jangling at the other end of the table for us, just you wait and see. And if it doesn't happen, don't come complaining to us. What do we know? We've just promoted Northampton.

Dean Domerecki

Season 1999-2000 (so far)

Cork City (9 July)

Cost: Free.

Pages: 16 plus cover.

Good things: Slightly glossy pages; a lovely, handsome photo of Brian Carey on the front cover.

Bad things: Not applicable.

Bizarre things: A picture of Karl Connolly next to the words, 'Facelift for League Cup'

Great one-liner: 'Brian (Carey) has a Diploma in Construction Economics and keeps his post-footballing options open by dabbling in journalism also, being a weekly contributor to The Examiner where his entertaining style keeps Leeside soccerati well informed on the non-Premiership side of football life.'

Verdict: Excellent.

Accrington (16 July)

Cost: £1.00.

Pages: 12.

Good things: Very informative ASFC merchandise details (key fobs £2.50, ski hats £5.99).

Bad things: General thin-ness.

Bizarre things: Extremely large font size throughout; the front cover announces that it is still Season 1998-9.

Great one-liner: 'We would like to offer a warm welcome to all our supporters and also to the players and officials of Wrexham, as well as to any of their supporters who have made the journey from Wales.'

Verdict: Very Unibond League.

Oswestry Town (21 July)

Cost: 50p.

Pages: 26 (plus cover shell).

Good things: Size. Entertaining 'News Round-Up' piece. Nice piece on Shropshire Reds and Oswestry/Wrexham links.

Bad things: Too many bloody adverts.

Bizarre things: Advert for 'R.J.Christian Ltd: Practical Jewellers'. If you're a Jeweller, how can you not be a Practical Jeweller?

Great one-liner: 'Manager Ken Swinnerton has strengthened the playing squad for this season and is hoping to mount a serious challenge in gaining promotion to the League of Wales…In order to achieve these aspirations it has been necessary to raise the entrance fees to games.'

Verdict: Advert-dominated.

From RP11 onwards we will, in sequence, be reviewing the programme and fanzine of each club Wrexham plays.