toilets

Where others fear to tread

Spiders and soap

Stoke: Special investigator Emma Pritchard said: ‘There was soft toilet paper in the Ladies - but no mirror.’ Elsie Price added: ‘There was one major problem - the loos in the Ladies had no flushing action.’

Peter Davies said: ‘The Gents were spacious and clean-ish. There were two well-signposted entries outside and lots of excellent accessories on the inside: paper towels, soap, and even coat pegs on the inside of the cubicle doors. A brilliant wall notice above the many shiny white sinks stated: ‘CAUTION: HOT WATER’. Personally, I think should really have read: ‘EXTREME LUXURY: HOT WATER’. There were loads and loads of urinals and even a clean black bin-liner in the nearby dustbin. There was even a lovely new payphone just outside the toilets - though I did think it was closer to the Ladies than the Gents. A clear case of sexual discrimination, I’d say.’

Burnley: James Morris declared: ‘There were loads of spiders in the Gents and the walls were covered with “SAVE PLYMOUTH ARGYLE” stickers.’ Peter Davies said: “The toilets were a bit old fashioned. There were a couple of cubicles and wash basins and some evidence of disinfectant - but they weren’t pretty.’

Kettering: Daniel Jennings commented: ‘These toilets were on a par with those on view at Colchester and Wigan - just a bit small.’