If we ever got dumped in the League of Wales (God forbid) we'd have to play...

AFAN LIDO

The Ultimate Bluffers' Guide

Club emblem: Hand carrying torch against the backdrop of a ball. Vivid stuff

History of club in one sentence: Port Talbot Athletic metamorphosises into Afan Lido FC (name of new and fairly whacky local sports centre)

Describe the club in three words: Youngish, Enlightened, Struggling

Ground: Afan Lido Sports Centre (see above)

Club colours look like: Wrexham/Man Utd/Charlton/Barnsley

Magic moment: 0-0 UEFA Cup draw in Latvia against RAF Riga (first 'result' gained by a LOW club in Europe)

The boss man: Mark Robinson (part of the Robinson dynasty which seems to dominate the club)

One 'famous' player: The young Brian Flynn (yes it's true)

Commentators most likely to say: "Afan Lido, don't put your money on them for the Welsh Cup" (they've never been past the 3rd Round)

Not to be confused with: Sky Sports Centre, Ludo

Top trivia: A group of Lido players were ambushed and beaten up whilst out celebrating their epic 0-0 draw in Riga