Fanzines

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A general air of defeatism

Cardiff: Watch The Bluebirds Fly!

This fanzine is a traditional low-budget favourite of the City faithful that has survived the ineptitude the club has served up since the 1993 'double' year.

The opening edition of the 1998-99 season quite rightly lambasts the club management, board and players for the shambolic previous season. Another bottom-four finish in the dungeon could have had disastrous consequences - bar the fact that Brighton and Doncaster were even worse. The fanzine gives off a general air of defeatism - in that City fans just don't believe the crap about a 'Burrows New Dawn' and fear another season of disillusionment. The general gloom and doom in the fanzine has been justified by early-season results.

The fanzine is generally quite stale in that an example of its material are a pair of boring articles on a fan's drunken day out in Macclesfield and a Saturday afternoon for a City fan based in London. This sort of thing has been done many times before and much better than in WTBF!

On the plus side, there is a well written tribute to Robbie James, which I am sure all genuine Welsh football fans would appreciate, and a deserving thank you to the released Carl Dale for his loyalty and service to the club. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with the fanzine's complete dismissal of the charade known as the FAW Invitation Cup. Surely, Wales' three league clubs should only be interested in a bona fide Welsh Cup competition with European entry - not this BBC-sponsored irrelevance.

In conclusion, WTBF! never really rises above the mediocre, which is not surprising given its low price (30p). There are a couple of good articles amongst the general hum-drum, but it is definitely in the lower echelons of the fanzine world.Mark Sly

Memo to Maine Road: Get Real!

Man City: King of the Kippax

On the whole pretty good, as you would expect from a pre-season edition it is full of people moaning about the relegation last season and having to travel to all these little places with naff stadiums. They continually refer to it as Division Three or the 3rd standard, and how City are the greatest underachievers in British football. I remember the squeals in 1982/3 when they lost at home to Luton on the last day of the season to go down.

That was 16 years ago, they have been up and down a couple of times since then, and now it is time to get real. After two years in Div 1 they have failed to make that grade, so should shut up and get used to it. They are patronising twats in the main, and to say they are the champion under-achievers when Tottenham and Everton are spending ten-times City's transfer budget, well, like I say get real.

And there are mitigating factors for the relenting whinge-ness in the pre-season context. There are no league results to talk about, only close-season transfer talk and the gloomy prospect at having to come to our grounds. Perhaps they will get used to it by Christmas.

But as for the KK itself, I think that apart from all the corespondents having the same bunch of grudges and sharing the obsession with Manchester United (although none of them, curiously, seem able to actually put a name to their nemesis) it does a reasonable job. One particularly good feature, owards the end, contains guidance on some of the league grounds Manchester City are due to visit in the coming few months.

There are detailed route-plans, plans of the grounds showing the away end, prices and ticketing procedures etc- all the things we have come to expect from the fanzine, but given the number of correspondents and readership, KK is professionally put together, and whatever is covered is covered in depth.

Editorially, KK is a bit quiet for my tastes, concerned with access to fans-Board forums, and offering a guaranteed right-to-reply to the club's officials. Perhaps this is reflected in the emergence of two new City fanzines, alluded to in KK as offering competition. The danger of editorial quietude is that you are always under threat from a new radical edge.

There were a couple of excellent features that fair reviewer has to mention; firstly one of City's famous fans, Nick Leeson with a couple of missives from his far eastern prison cell demonstrates both the bathos of the football fan and the ordinariness of his life ('even the Watford fans are taking the piss now...'), and his hope against hope that the Blues would stay up. There was also an excellent spoof on Titanic: 'Citanic' which ends in the sinking of the unsinkable Kippax; it was genuinely funny in parts, so hats off to Nigel Morris (survivor).

KK is also good in its realisation of the 'weediness' of fans who say they are never coming again, but always do (we all know the feeling), and some of the cartoons are good, even if you have to be obsessed with City and all its travails to recognise all the characters.

All in all, despite the verbiage and the arrogance (let's face it, they are not even second best in Manchester anymore are they?, Stockport took that mantle years ago) this is a good benchmark for Red Passion to aim for.

Colin McCaig

For the real supporters

Luton Town: Mad as a Hatter

Alice was bored with the Mad Hatter's tea party. The Red Queen was drooling over a picture of Eric Morecambe whilst dunking the dormouse in tepid tea contained in the trophy representing the team's latest success - the Luton Hatmaker's Wednesday League Pensioners Shield (Div 2). The White Rabbit was peering through rose-tinted glasses at his huge timepiece repeating the Mantra "it must be full time, it must be full time, we're only losing to Wrexham 2-0".

The Mad Hatter himself was staring fixedly at a little orange book. Alice asked, "What's that?" "The Luton Town fanzine", the Mad Hatter replied. "What's it about - can I look?", said Alice. "Well it's for the real supporters of Luton Town", the Mad Hatter responded as he passed the magazine across.

Alice started to read. After a short while, she asked, "What does 'slagging off' mean?" "That's easy", said the Mad Hatter. "It's when we, the true Hatters, tell the manager, the chairman and the players that they are a load of rubbish. For example, when we sell a player he's always our best, always given away too cheaply, to line the pockets of the grubby, greedy chairman".

"Is that the same as 'being crap'", asked Alice. "Well, it's part of our wide-ranging vocabulary used to indicate our allegiance to our team. You've got to remember that as we also say, all the players are chosen by that arch-traitor and s..t, Lennie Lawrence, who can't motivate, substitutes the best players, plays them out of position, and makes diabolical transfer deals."

"So", mused Alice, "you'll be surprised that you missed your forecast of relegation and are now in a promotion spot." The Mad Hatter gave Alice a pitying look: "Nay, lass, you don't understand. We've always been consistent in recognising that beneath our eternal optimism our editorial policy is to create the gloom and despondency that is a necessary part of being a Luton supporter. If we play badly that's natural; if we achieve success it can't last."

"So you are one of the faithful supporters, fully behind your team?" "That's right" "Curiouser and curiouser," said Alice.

Keith Walton (with apologies to Lewis Carrol)