The Pie's the Limit
Tim Lawrence reflects on some good and bad catering experiences
It’s my experience that the catering at the Racecourse is pretty nondescript, so my short review of football-ground pies does not include our own half-time fayre. In some respects this, as you will see, is a good thing. My assessment starts at the top, the Egon Ronay of offerings, and ends, rather painfully, at what must be the worst, most manky of lunches in the entire Football League.
The most magnificent of pies available at footy grounds is the Chicken Balti Pie at the Bescot Stadium, Walsall. This, coincidentally, is my most local of Division 2 grounds. Most people who live in Birmingham can say that they have seen or driven past the Taj Mahal (the restaurant, of course) but only those who have been to the Bescot can truly claim to have been to Balti heaven. The pie has great big lumps of chicken, a delicious spicy sauce, and is not at all runny or difficult to eat. Next time you are watching the Reds at Walsall, HAVE ONE. It's even worth a special trip.
Purely for value at about 90p, the runner-up is the Meat & Potato Pie at Blackpool. The weird tiny little refreshments hutch is on the terrace as you walk in. The pie, which I remember was also endorsed by my Dad, contained just the right amount of potato which blended sympathetically with the mince-type meat. The overall flavour was satisfying and memorable and it also helped that two pies were available for the usual price of one.
The genuine Cornish Pasties at Bristol Rovers come next. Third place is the highest I can award for two reasons. First, I despise Rovers. Their ground belongs to the rugby club and has the worst possible viewing angle for away fans. They have an insufferable range of pre- match entertainment and always seem to beat us to the play-offs. Secondly, I had a burger not a pasty while I was there. Those who had one all said how fab they had been…so they get a mention anyway.
Rather worse, however, was the Steak & Kidney Pie at Birmingham City - the taste of which I never actually experienced. That’s because the contents were of a temperature of Chernobyl proportions and any chance my taste buds had of getting to grips with it were instantly destroyed as they were flayed off by the searing heat. There was far too much gravy and it was very runny and the pie therefore demanded immediate attention before it could arrange itself all over my Wrexham scarf. With no chance to let it cool down, the results were inevitable. I am now aware that S for Steak and K for Kidney appear in that order in the word miStaKe and I have learned my lesson accordingly.
The worst offering by some way came at Spotland a couple of years ago. Wrexham had drawn Rochdale in an early round of the FA Cup. The game, as many would remember, was a comfortable but unspectacular victory for our team, but the catering was a total disaster. Remembering my Birmingham S&K nightmare, I opted once again for the Meat & Potato option. Regrettably, neither ingredient seemed to have found its way into what I was eating. It was a dirty coloured grey mushy filling, more like the colour of a conventional Chicken & Mushroom. The pie did not really taste of anything but possibly that slightly unpalatable flavour of the Smash potato served at school-dinner time. I remember turning to my mate after two mouthfuls and speculating whether it would be possible, or advisable, to finish it. The pie was utterly horrible in its consistency and was, unfortunately on this occasion, larger than normal. My advice at all costs is to stick to liquid refreshments on any future visits.