Red, white and X-rated

That Duran Duran 'flick'

Wrexham v Aberystwyth, WPC Quarter-Final, 13th March 2001 (BBC Wales) 

Not only is the FAW Premier Cup relegated to BBC2 Wales, but Wrexham now come even further down the pecking order! After settling down to watch Oliver Hides give us a resume of the quarter-finalists (kindly applauding Wrexham for their runaway performance in their group) and introducing Mickey Thomas and Mark Aizelwood, I was surprised that they then headed over to the Vetch Field for Swansea v Carmarthen! What interest has Noddy got in THAT match? Ridiculous. I hastily scrambled over to Sky in the hope that the virtually unknown BBC Choice Wales may be showing Wrexham instead – they WERE! The game had already started unfortunately, so I missed the introductions. Grrr. The ‘I’ button told me that there was, 'Live coverage of Wrexham against Aberystwyth in the Quarter-Final of the FAW Premier Cup, presented by Jeff Collins with guests Barry Horne and Tony Wilcox. Widescreen.'

The first half flew by, and the commentator seemed pretty enthusiastic about our attacking crew. The half-time interval saw Kevin Reeves being interviewed immediately after the players had gone down the tunnel - his sad 1981 Duran Duran ‘flick’ waving gently in the breeze. Then, the studio crew watched goalmouth action from the first half at the Vetch. We eventually got to hear Barry Horne and Tony Wilcox (who? he looked like a pub landlord) give their views on the first half. They were pretty positive about us given the fact we were ahead and Trundle got a few mentions. TW changed the barrel on the Carlsberg, turned the Jukebox down, and it was time for the second half. Wrexham of course cruised to a 3-0 victory. I was grateful for the action replays as the original camera work seemed to be of trainee standard. It took three goes from different angles before they found one that properly captured certain pieces of goalmouth action. At the end the substituted Lee Trundle (showered and now dressed in a suit - excellent) gave an interview on his view of the game. He mentioned how teams like Aber will always make it hard for you as they raise their game to bridge the gap. He has a strong Liverpool accent and he came over very well. He was awarded with a bottle for being MOTM.

Back in the studio Jeff Collins (who looks a bit like me unfortunately – we were definitely both designed by Salvador Dali) wrapped things up, giving Wrexham a fair hearing along with the guests who were excited mostly by the busy Trundle. Then it was over to the Vetch as quick as they could to watch the extra-time half-hour (as it was 0-0 after the 90). The 'widescreen' option came into its own very swiftly: the ball was returned to the Carmarthen ‘keeper (Fitzpatrick they said – Cracker off TV more like!) who more than filled the screen! Using the widescreen facility, we just about got a picture of the guy – how can anyone accuse the ‘waif-like by comparison’ KD of 'eating all the pies' when there is a bloke of this magnitude playing in Wales’ premier league?! He looked like he’d eaten all the pies, plus the pie delivery man, and his van! He could definitely work part-time at Alton Towers as a new ride! Bouncy castles have just become obsolete. Incredible. I didn’t bother watching the rest of it so I caught up with the other results of the evening – Chester had been beaten at Southport. I think that has put paid to any hopes of City catching R&D. At least they have two cup finals to chase now, but their priority must be retaining their squad and pushing for promotion next season. If they don’t make it next time round, they probably never will.

In summary then, thanks very much BBC Cymru for once again proving that your radio and TV facilities are for the almost exclusive benefit of people who live within 10 miles of the capital. Swansea get the mainstream BBC2 Wales slot, while the very few of us with access to Choice Wales on Sky get to see Wrexham. At least the presenter and studio guests weren’t too biased against us for once though, to be fair. Admittedly I should have been at the game anyway(!) but the cost of petrol, admission etc - when it’s on the TV - plus two more home games in the next week meant a stay-at-home night, I’m afraid. It’s only the second one I’ve missed all season though. Flippin’ armchair fans, tchoh! 

Simon Irving