If we ever got dumped in the League of Wales (God forbid) we'd have to play...

T.N.S. Llansantffaid

The Ultimate Bluffers' Guide

Club emblem: Stick-man stand with small black ball at his (stick) feet and halo on his head (team nickname - The Saints)

History of club in one sentence: Quaint village side sells out to computer giants TNS after heroic Euro-deeds

Describe the club in three words: Small, financially secure

Ground: Recreation Field (very original)

Club colours look like: Nobody else (green shirts, black shorts, green socks)

Magic moment: The amazing Welsh Cup final victory (not forgetting associated Euro-matches and 6-0 LOW triumph over Rhyl this season)

The boss man: Andy Cale (now gone full-time)

One 'famous' player: Not applicable

Commentators most likely to say: "Howard Jones is in goal today - but that's not the Howard Jones"

Not to be confused with: TNT, TCP, PMT

Top trivia: Montgomeryshire League Champions 1968-9, 1969-70, 1970-1, 1982-3, 1986-7 (Wow...)