Kristian Rogers

Nickname: Ena

After Ena Sharples because he has always got his head in the net.

Keith Hill

Nickname: Gnasher

Because Denis loves him but everyone else finds him irritating.

Darren Ferguson

Nickname: Guillotine

Because the last time I saw someone's head drop that quickly there head was on a guillotine.

Denis Smith

Nickname: Flecther

Because he has committed some serious offences and is going down for a very long time.

Hector Sam

Nickname: Milky

Because there is a pint of milk in our fridge that turns faster than he does.

Lee Trundle

Nickname: Long John

He is the most one footed player since Long John Silver.

Michael Blackwood

Nickname: Marx

He is good on the extreme left but ineffective elsewhere.

Andy Morrell

Nickname: Rigsby

He may have scored in the past but I cannot see him scoring again for a long time.

Robin Gibson

Nickname: Birth Control

He is good at penetrating but does not shoot inside the box often enough.