Club Call

Hanging on the telephone

This fanzine doesn’t learn. We keep spending our money on aimless phone calls to dodgy 0891 numbers – this time Wrexham and Shrewsbury (on Saturday 12 December):

0891 121642 (Wrexham) – This call lasted five minutes 37 seconds (incredibly) and featured several bits of very mundane news (repeated and reiterated several times) and a fairly lengthy interview with the man who never hits a bad free-kick: Peter Ward.

The injury-list bulletin and the pre-Wigan team news wasn’t very exciting (quite the reverse) and the words ‘Nationwide Second Division’ were said in a particularly sluggish tone (‘Na-tion-wide Se-c-ond Di-vi-sion). Every thing, without exception, was given its full, unabridged title – very slowly.

The Ward interview had several highlights: the interviewer suggesting that the Wrexham-Wigan clash was ‘local derby-ish’ in nature; Wardy’s expertise on the subject of Wrexham’s pathetic away form; and the observation – made by both interviewer and interviewee – that Flynn was rotating his players in league and cup in an almost Ferguson or Vialli-like manner. Ferguson, Vialli, Flynn…three of a kind?

0891 121194 (Shrewsbury) – This was seven minutes and 48 seconds of sheer theatre. The Shrews’ boss – ex-Wrexham man Jake King – went ballistic in his set-piece interview with the less-than-charismatic Clubcall reporter.

In the aftermath of his side’s ‘shocking’ 1-0 defeat at Mansfield, King went all irate and high-pitched. He claimed his side created 12 chances (six ‘big’ ones and six ‘small’ ones) and failed to take any. It was enough, he said, to force him out of retirement.

He claimed – unwisely – that he could have had a hat-trick if he’d been on the pitch (and that even he could net 10 goals a season if he dusted off his old boots). The interviewer started to laugh when Mr King’s voice went a bit Alan Ball-ish. King said he was ‘sick of it’ (missing chances) - and he hated the way his side had been deserted, totally, by Lady Luck. Shrewsbury, he argued, were better than 18^th in Division Three. Then he calmed down.