Programmes

Red Passion flicks through the best and worst of this season's away match programmes

Burnley (31 Oct)

Cost: £1.80

Pages: 52

Good things: Nice variety of features, good colour, and a specialist quiz for Wrexham fans. Also, a fan feature called Turf Talker

Bad things: Too many adverts, a funny typescript on p.4 & p.5

Bizarre things: Mike Lake's brother Paul is the new BFC physio

Great one-liner: ‘I don't accept that we are excluded from the Premiership because we are a small town club’ (Bill Evans, Burnley fan living in Llangollen)

Verdict: Pretty good

Oldham (21 Nov)

Cost: £1.60

Pages: 48

Good things: Gloria Estefan-lookalike rolling around on a Slumberland bed (advert, page 6)

Bad things: A selection of not very reader-friendly typefaces employed throughout

Bizarre things: Picture of pensive Roy Evans next to words, ‘Au revoir’. Why’s this in an Oldham programme?

Great one-liner: "There are just a few dates left available if you wish to hold your office Christmas party here at Boundary Park" (page 21)

Verdict: OK

Macclesfield (8 Dec)

Cost: £1.00

Pages: 16 (yes, it was an AWS game…)

Good things: Hearty praise for Wrexham’s unofficial web-site, The Webbed Robin (p.14)

Bad things: Typescript varies between the outrageously big and the outrageously small; also, Sammy Mcllroy thinks he’s being funny in his ‘manager’s notes’ – but it’s difficult to detect a joke anywhere.

Bizarre things: ‘NOMINATE A TRUE BLUE HERO - I think my brother is a super fan because…He always has a smile on his face, even if the blues lose…He has two full autograph books.’ (Aaron Carr, p.12)

Great one-liner: ‘Having three games in 8 days is a big strain on every fan’s budget…Please try to return on Saturday’ (Editor’s clipboard, p14)

Verdict: Thin

Wigan Athletic (12 Dec)

Cost: £1.80

Pages: 32

Good things: Generally varied format, nice blue-and-green-ness throughout

Bad things: JJB are everywhere

Bizarre things: Incredibly detailed away-game travel instructions (six columns: ‘Distance’, ‘Instruction’, ‘Road’, ‘For’, ‘Direction’, ‘Towards’

Great one-liner: ‘My wife says I’m very romantic with surprises and weekends away'’(Leigh Jenkinson, Player Profile)

Verdict: Programme 8/10, Ground 1/10. Say no more

Denmark Under-21 v Wales Under-21 (9 Oct)

Cost: Free

Pages: 8

Good things: Small, neat and concise

Bad things: Black & white only

Bizarre things: David Hughes (Villa) is officially the most experienced Under-21 player (10 games, 1 goal)

Great one-liner: "Danmarks talentfulde U/21-landshold skal i aften mod Wales forsoge at tage det andet skridt pa den lange vej mod savel EM-som OL-slutrunden i ar 2000" (possible translation: ‘Denmark have a far better chance of winning the Under-21 tournament than Wales’)

Verdict: Written in a foreign language

Denmark v Wales (10 Oct)

Cost: KR.20,00 (whatever that means)

Pages: 48 (A4)

Good things: Lovely full-page pic of Gould; lovely colour pic of Rush

Bad things: Lots of articles in Danish

Bizarre things: 24 Danish footballers have played 50+ times for the national team (inc. Schmeichel 107, M Laudrup 104, B Laudrup 82)

Great one-liner: "Waliseren Ian Rush - en af de helt store profiler hos Liverpool gennem i arraekke" (possible translation: ‘Welshman Ian Rush has done nothing since he left Liverpool’)

Verdict: Also written in a foreign language

Wales v Belarus (14 Oct)

Cost: £3.00

Pages: 46 (glossy colour A4)

Good things: Very swish; an Idiot's Guide-type map of Eastern Europe - Belarus is in the middle and in yellow (p.26)

Bad things: Odd advert on p.17 (Gary Speed has his hands on Andy Marriott's back)

Bizarre things: Robbie Savage sitting next to Bobby Gould on the team photo (collector's item); Savage definitely looks like a woman in his p.23 picture

Great one-liner: "I know that true supporters of the game in Wales will support the team in their endeavours as we strive to perform to the best of our ability and with honour." (Gould, p.7)

Verdict: Glorious and handsome