My tea was very nearly spoilt as I choked on the sight of those breasts wobbling inside his shirt in a most inappropriate manner and while I'd love to think that he rolled his sleeves up in an attempt to be businesslike, I do fear that the reality was that his arms were so fat that the sleeves had just ridden up. Time for a trip to High and Mighty I suspect!

SYSTEM OF A DOWN

On the other hand - we have a system! Even the so-called second string players could operate it and it works. 

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the Welsh team now goes away from home and draws teams into the last third of the pitch before counter-attacking at pace and with often devastating results. It's risky because not all our defenders co-ordinate (not an unknown theme over the years!) and therefore the opposition will get chances but, and here's the funny thing, the players seem comfortable with it and…it works. 

More importantly, it means we have started picking up clean sheets and that gives a basis for our attack to actually hurt the opposition. 

GABBA GABBA HEY/WESTON BY MUSKET AND SEXTANT

The contrast between the lumbering but strangely effective Hartson and the likes of Daniel Gabbidon and Rhys Weston was stark. Is it just me or has the former stepped out of Division Two and become near world-class overnight? The pair of them may be a bit rough around the edges but I suspect that we really have something special here! It may have only been a friendly but the performances were strong; intelligent, pacy and consistent. Funnily enough the words 'Simon' and 'Davies' also seem to sit very nicely with those four adjectives. Strange days indeed. 

EXPECTING TO FLY

Not long after came the Finland game. Same system, a few team changes and a better outcome. Fantastic win, but for me the most peculiar feature of the fixture was the atmosphere around it. What I'm talking about here is the fact that Wales were 'expected to win'. Now, read that sentence again and think about it.

There are three sorts of "expected to win":

• Type one is the deluded, fanatical fan whose team is 'expected to win' against everybody and for whom defeat is a personal betrayal which must be targeted (ever so rationally of course) against the person least responsible for the actual outcome (blind referees, the ball, the pitch etc).
• Type two is of the media-styled 'expected/ought to win' ie. Wales ought to beat the likes of Iceland for no logical reason other than the propagators desire to set up the team for a supposed fall despite myriad evidence to the contrary with regard to their chances of winning. 
• Type three is the weird one ie. where everybody really does actually expect you to win because they believe that you are the better team; that you have the tactical nous etc, and they're not being sarcastic, optimistic or Mark Aizlewood. Weirdly, this was the one we had before the Finland game. Five games undefeated with increasingly high-quality, efficient and frequently outstanding performances suddenly translated into an absolute belief that we would go out there and defeat Finland. That we did was then greeted with the kind of subdued euphoria that only comes from wandering into work and muttering: 'Tell me, who was the only home nation to win on Saturday?' Ah, things have perhaps gone beyond strange to… YEEEEESSS!

BOULDER TO BIRMINGHAM

In the meantime, back on Planet Premier League we find Mark Bowen entering the pantheon of Savage et al as 'bizarre to the point where you have to admire him'. As a parting shot this edition - can anyone tell me what the story was here? Your options are:

• Mark Bowen has been banned by Birmingham from involvement with the Welsh team. Bowen denies it and so does Steve 'what no loyalty card!' Bruce.
• Mark Bowen can't see how his involvement with Wales can continue. Denied by - everybody.
• Mark Hughes can't see how Bowen's involvement with Wales can continue. Denied by - everybody.
• Steve Bruce can't see…well I think you know how it goes by now.

So, answers on a postcard to RP at the usual address. Mark Bowen - what is your problem?

FINALLY!

Finally, in an already good month for Welsh football came the news that Mark Hughes has been watching Pejic and Roberts. This can't possibly have anything to do with anything on the pitch and I fear an elaborate spoof by an RP correspondent trying to get an entry into 'Spotted' ie. 'Mark Hughes in Sainsburys car park looking for petrol; following a young man with crutches and his strange brother with a pie in his mouth.' NOW, I know why Neil Roberts moved to Wigan - they're pie eaters!

Italy? Bring 'em on! I just know I will regret that phrase but how many chances will I get as a Welsh football fan to be this positive before the next Joe Jordan-, Paul Bodin-type moment arrives? With that thought - arreviderci!