Matt Wedderkopp’s FA Cup Diary
We all know the story so far: Wrexham 1 Peterborough 0, Wrexham 2 York City 1. Wrexham 4 Scunthorpe 3. However, I’d like to take a twisted look into the future…
FA Cup 4th Round: Wrexham v Huddersfield
I wake up in a cold sweat, tied with a WAFC scarf to a certain Mr Ratcliffe of Chester, surrounded by empty Wrexham Lager cans. When your Saturday starts like that, you know it’s going to be one of those days…
8,000 arrive at the Racecourse to see the mighty Robins take on Premiership promotion chasers Huddersfield. The game goes back and forth with skilful play from all concerned. Until the ball falls to Dave Ridler (officially the best-looking Wrexham player) who beautifully dribbles up the field with his lovely eyes on the ball, heading to the corner flag, and crosses a sexy ball into the box which is met by the head of King Karl who, being the God that he is, scores.
One-nil to Wrexham. Huddersfield try to come back at Wrexham but don’t play particularly well in bare feet. Time runs out with Wrexham scoring no further goals after Huddersfield divert to a flat back ten. The game finishes and Wrexham go into the fifth round draw.
At the after-match press conference questions were being raised as to why Huddersfield played bare-footed. The goalkeeper steps up to explain: ‘Well, you see, we arrived here a little early so we dumped our kit in the dressing rooms and went for a stroll around the town; on our return there was a bloody great bird standing in the corridor carrying a large bag. We went into the dressing room and all our boots had gone and we had to play the match like that.’ A press official speaks up from the muttering: ‘Could you describe this bird then?’ The keeper responded: ‘Well, it was wearing clothes, a Wrexham kit I think, it may have been a pigeon or a sparrow or even a fat robin. Yeah, a fat robin.’
Had Rockin’ Robin stolen their boots – all the evidence seemed to point to him. Later that evening, police issued the following statement: ‘Be on the lookout for a large red bird trying to offload football boots at local car-boat sales.’ Most sightings just turned out to be Kevin Ratcliffe trying to offload the Chester teams’ gear to make some money to pay off their debts.
FA Cup 5th Round: Wrexham v Sunderland
Rumours of Rockin’ Robin fixing the cup draw are muttered around the North East as Wrexham get drawn at home again. The town is buzzing with excitement as First Division tearaway leaders Sunderland come to the Racecourse. The team, after suffering only two league defeats this season, is pretty much full strength; however, two unknowns are named on the bench, a certain Andy Marriott and Neil Wainwright.
Three o’clock arrives and the match kicks off; it’s an evenly fought battle with the ball going from end to end and back again. There are no real chances for either team until King Karl breaks off on a majestic run towards the corner flag; he waits for support to arrive and it comes in the form of big bad Deano.
The cross comes in; Deano rises to it like a gazelle, but as the keeper Sorrenson comes out they collide and the ball is cleared for a Wrexham throw-in. The keeper remains on the floor and the Sunderland physio comes running on. He turns to the Sunderland bench and signals to make a substitution. Sorrenson is stretchered off and Andy Marriott runs on, to applause from both sets of supporters. Wrexham take the throw-in and the ball falls at the feet of ‘Rooster’ Russell who has a wild 40-yard shot. Marriott gathers it up and holds the ball for the moment, savouring the occasion. He looks out across the field and spots Connolly unmarked; he passes it out to him, to the surprise of Karl, all the other players and supporters. Karl puts the ball into the back of the net and starts celebrating.
The crowd remains silent: what was Andy doing? A quiet voice is heard echoing around the Racecourse: ‘I don’t play for Wrexham anymore, do I?’ The game restarts, Sunderland attack well, but Deano and Carey keep them at bay until the whistle blows for half-time. The second-half kicks off just like the first; most of the game is fought in midfield where the ongoing battle between Rooster and the Chester lad Kevin Ball is the focus of most people’s attention: both going in hard on each other and playing with real passion until Russell takes it too far and skewers Ball to the corner flag. Russell is shown the red card and can expect a one-match ban. Kevin Ball is scraped off the pitch and substituted by Neil Wainwright.
There are three minutes left in the game; Wrexham pile on the pressure and are awarded corner after corner. Finally, the ball is cleared out; it falls to Wainwright who controls it, turns and fires it back into the box. Deano meets it and scores. Bedlam follows when the crowd quietens down. An upset voice is heard echoing around the ground: ‘I don’t play for Wrexham anymore do I?’
The referee blows up (not literally) to signal the end of the end of the game. The Sunderland team trudge off while the Wrexham squad celebrates.
Wrexham go into the cup draw and will be facing Yeovil Town at the Racecourse.
Will Wrexham triumph? Only I know, so you’ll have to wait until the next installment of Matt Wedderkopp’s Diary – only in Red Passion.