From Dorset to Dorset

By Graeme Harding

The season started in Dorset and ended in Dorset. I managed to get to 11 games starting at Weymouth: a 2-1 win in a friendly and ending at Bournemouth in May. Out of the 11 games, the Reds only lost two of them, so all in all, for me anyway, it wasn't a bad season.

    Travelling from Southampton to see the Reds can at times be arduous and always expensive. The second game I saw was a friendly at Salisbury. On the face of it, not arduous and definitely not expensive - or so I thought. I set off on the train from Southampton, duly arriving in Salisbury two hours before kick off. Popped into a pub by the station for a jar or two of 'Old Grumbling Bowel', the local brew. I enquired of mein host how I could get to the ground. Wiltshire people have a slow way of talking and coupled with a sharp intake of breath from the landlord, I somehow knew my task wasn't going to be easy.

    Sat in the taxi, wending its way through the Wiltshire countryside, I was beginning to regret the fourth pint of 'O.G.B.' - as mine definitely were. Negotiating a taxi back was not easy either; in the end I had to agree to leaving the game half an hour early to get my train back. So, £7.50 lighter, I got out of the taxi at the brand new Raymond McEnhill Stadium.

    Next mistake was going into what I thought was the programme shop. The first thing I noticed on the shop counter was an array of beer pumps; strange, but I ordered a pint of 'Wiltshire Gutbuster' anyway. A voice from behind informed me I wasn't staying: 'Your lot are in the supporters bar'. I was surprised to learn that I had stumbled into the 'Executive Directors' Portakabin'. Never mind, it was a dump anyway.

    Into the game and we made it 2-1 as I reluctantly left to be fleeced of another £7.50 to get back to my train. Still, at least I had the comfort of knowing that fellow Southampton Red my girlfriend Ann, and her daughter Helen, would be picking me up at the station. Safe in that knowledge, I must have dropped my guard; the next thing I knew I was waking up to find the train trundling into Portsmouth Harbour station, 12 stations and 40 miles from home. The love between residents of Portsmouth and Southampton is exactly akin to that of Wrexham and C- - - - - r, though what would have been made of a 'Scummer' (local dialect) wearing a Wrexham shirt I wasn't prepared to hang around to find out.

    After some negotiation, I managed to get yet another taxi to transport me the 40 miles back home. The driver wasn't quite as old as his cab, but it was damned close; added to the fact that it was an old London cab and he insisted on talking to me all the way back through the little window in the middle. This required me to sit on the edge of the seat so that I could hear what he was saying above the din of the engine which seemed incapable of going above 30 miles an hour. By now, of course, four pints of 'O.G.B.' was causing me great concern.

    Relief was the by-word when I finally got home. Relief on the driver's face when I actually gave him the £45 fare and the undoubted relief I felt in unloading four pints of unwanted Wiltshire ale into my neighbour's garden. Ann and I have followed the Reds all over the country: Carlisle and Grimsby amongst many places. However, nothing stirs more shivers in my bowel, and my wallet, as that fateful trip to Salisbury.

    I did find out the following morning that we had won 3-1 in the end, so I suppose it wasn't all bad. Added to that is the fact that my neighbour's roses have come on in leaps and bounds - some of them as tall as the house. In true tradition, the roses have been named as they win prize after prize in local competitions.

    So, if you're in B&Q and see the 'Connolly', 'Hardy', 'Owen', 'Jones' or 'Ridler' Rose, then you know they are the result of a wonderful night out in Wiltshire.

Graeme is the coordinator of the newly-formed Southampton Reds supporters club. If you live on the South Coast and you're a Reds fan, Graeme would love to hear from you. He can be contacted at 5, Westcliff Walk, Hythe, Nr. Southampton, Hants SO45 6BY (Tel: 01703 848685)